


Poker Face

by needchocolatenow



Category: DCU Animated, Young Justice (Cartoon)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-03-01
Updated: 2011-03-01
Packaged: 2017-10-16 00:46:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/166648
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/needchocolatenow/pseuds/needchocolatenow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Wally really, really hates strip poker.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Poker Face

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the yj_anon_meme.

When Artemis and Robin agreed on something, Wally generally felt betrayed.

One, Artemis was a horrible, sneaky person. She liked to get in his way of wooing/flirting/pursuing/courting/etc the beautiful, gentle, _kind_ M’gann M’orzz. Two, Artemis hit him. A lot. It was kind of painful. But the main reason, the big one, number three: Robin was Wally’s best bud, wingman, compadre. He couldn’t believe that Robin would side with Artemis on anything! Bros before hos, yo! Didn’t Batman ever teach him that?

“Strip poker,” Artemis said when everyone gathered in the lounge area in civilian clothes. Superboy was wearing his favorite T-shirt, which Wally suspected was a scientific anomaly that could duplicate the process of mitosis because every time it was laundry day, one shirt went into the machine and two shirts came out. Interestingly enough, Kaldur was wearing socks. He must have been foretold of this horrific turn of events, Wally hypothesized. 

“Strip poker?!” Wally had exclaimed and then looked to M’gann. He looked away as fast as he could though, because yeah, he’d like to see her show a little more skin, but he didn’t want to be obvious about it. He wasn’t a creeper!

“Oh, like the kind they play on TV?” M’gann asked, her awesomely beautiful cute almond eyes widened just a millimeter in diameter and seemed to sparkle in the lighting of the cave, but that’s not really true because eyes can’t sparkle and it’s only because of light refraction—

“Yes,” Robin lied blithely through his teeth. “Exactly like the kind they play on TV.”

“No!” Wally yelled. “Not at all like they play on TV!”

“Dude, what’s your problem?” Robin glared at him through his sunglasses.

“What’s yours?” Wally shot back.

Robin rolled his eyes and handed over a deck of cards to Artemis to deal. It was the deck that Robin had with him on long, tedious missions that required hours of being quiet.

“Same rules as poker, except we don’t play with chips,” Artemis said, shuffling the cards. “We play with clothes. Loser strips, winner takes all. Oh, wait, I knew I forgot something.” She got up and went to the shelf that housed all the fancy electronics that Batman and Green Arrow had generously supplied them with.

Well, with one deck of cards it’ll be easy to see who got what cards, Wally thought. Especially since there would be six of them so that meant the probability of him losing wouldn’t be that phenomenal. He could at least fold if his odds weren’t good enough.

“Yes!” Robin crowed. “I was looking for that!”

Artemis smirked as Wally looked up. It was a slick black box and he recognized it as the automatic card shuffler. “No one’s going to complain that I’m palming cards again,” Artemis said and Wally was hard pressed to not roll his eyes. She totally was palming cards the last time they played poker, the cheater.

“Here,” Kaldur said, handing Artemis two more deck of cards that matched the patterns of Robin’s cards. “Less chance of Wally counting the cards this way.”

“I do not!” Wally said indignantly and Robin snorted.

“Sure you don’t,” Robin said. “Just probabilities, right?”

“I’m not admitting to anything,” Wally said with a huff and M’gann giggled. Wally gave her a grin. Oh, she was so cute when she laughed and the way her freckles stood out on her skin was also cute and—

“Okay!” Artemis said, feeding the machine another two decks of cards (so there’s five decks now, Wally thought a little miserably) and turning it on. “No card palming, no card counting, and no trying to trade cards!” She stared at Robin, who looked everywhere but her. There was a loud whirring sound as the cards were shuffled. “We’ll play Five Card Draw, since M’gann likes it so much.”

M’gann gave a little squeal that sounded a bit like a squeaky hamster, but that was cute so Wally didn’t complain. Besides, M’gann loved Five Card Draw for some unexplained reason, even if Wally preferred Seven Card Stud. He looked at Superboy who was glaring at the card machine like he was daring it to give him a bad hand. Poor guy. The only form of poker he was decent at was Texas hold’em. Wally knew who was going to lose big.

“Why are you always dealer?” Wally asked, trying not to sound whiny.

“Because none of you know how to deal properly,” Artemis said with a little glare. Then, she smiled almost viciously as she side-eyed Superboy. “Anyway, tiny articles of clothing are worth the most! Big ones are worth the least! Any article of clothing you win can be reused as ante!”

“What?!” Wally squawked, sounding like a parrot. He looked at his sneakers. “That’s not how you play!”

“Oh, but it sounds fun,” M’gann said, looking at Wally and biting at her bottom lip like she’s done something horrible like forget the cookies in the oven again.

“Yeah, it does,” Wally said, the words tumbling from his mouth without any thought.

Artemis rolled her eyes and Kaldur sighed. Superboy continued to glare at the card machine and Robin was making grabby motions at the cards.

When the game started, it was alright. It was just a normal round of poker, except with clothes as antes. The first round of betting was started by Robin, who wagered his jacket and everyone else had to call. Wally was kind of glad he wore a button-down over his normal T-shirt that day. Superboy had to bet his shirt and he didn’t look too happy about it. Seriously, for a guy that’s super, he had no poker face.

“You know you can up the ante and put in a sock instead, right?” Robin asked Superboy.

“Yes,” Superboy said grouchily.

“Don’t ruin my fun,” Artemis muttered, punching Robin half-heartedly in the shoulder.

“Whatever,” Robin said. “I fold.”

“What?” Wally exclaimed. “You just gave your jacket away! For no reason!”

Robin just smirked and punched Artemis back in the shoulder. M’gann and Kaldur both folded on their turns and Wally should have known that something was going on when after that Superboy was the one who won, leaving everyone else with one (or in Wally’s and Artemis’s case, two) articles of clothing less.

“Jeez,” Wally said as he took off his button-down and T-shirt, throwing both of them none too gently in Superboy’s direction. At least Artemis was also losing, but because she was a girl and therefore, actually kind of hot, it wasn’t very humiliating for her to lose her clothes. “You were just lucky this time! Revenge, with your name on it, is coming for you.” Wally glared at Superboy and tried not to be too embarrassed about the very pink tank-top he had on underneath his shirts.

Robin was too busy busting a gut. Some bro he turned out to be.

“Round two,” Artemis said and she looked positively like a shark.

Second round stakes were high—well, higher than the previous round. Artemis seemed determined to get back her sweater and shirt, though Wally was sure it had more to do with getting Superboy in the nude than her clothes. She was wearing a thin, black tank-top and a sports bra underneath; it’s like she planned everything out so no one could see her…

Not that Wally wanted to see her boobs. But he kind of did, as much as he didn’t like her. ‘Cuz, boobs. It was hard to say no, especially since Artemis was kind of packing in that department.

Yeah, he noticed. It was kind of hard not to when he kept remembering that one Victoria’s Secret bra of hers that he found in the laundry.

“I call your shirt with my top,” Artemis said and then tapped her elastic hair band. “I raise you my hair band.”

“Oh my god,” Wally groaned. “That is technically not clothing. That is an accessory!”

“Really?” Robin asked. “Call. Sunglasses.”

No one objected.

That round went to Robin, who smirked behind his stupid sunglasses and took Artemis’s tank-top, her hair band, and her jeans. Superboy was forced to give up all the clothes he won in the previous round, plus one of his shoes. M’gann just vanished several articles of clothing, leaving her in a lovely pink tank-top (omg, he and M’gann matched!). She scribbled some IOUs to Robin, since her clothes were a part of her. Aqualad just handed over his shirt. The lucky bastard folded early.

“Wally, c’mon, I don’t have all day,” Robin said with a smirk. “If this is a strip tease, you really suck at it.”

“Ugh!” Wally groaned and stared at M’gann. Then, he handed over his tank-top, jeans, and sock. He tried to sit down again with dignity, but the way Artemis was laughing at him, he was never going to live this day down. She was wearing her sports bra and a pair of shorts, her hair undone and she kind of looked really, really hot and Wally was going to pretend that she was his evil sister so he wouldn’t embarrass himself in front of his team.

Robin proceeded to make a little throne for himself with their clothes.

“I can’t believe we got suckered in,” Wally muttered, staring at his clothes that peeked out from under Robin’s comfortably cushioned rear end. “No one’s ever seen your whole face!”

“I know,” Robin preened and adjusted his sunglasses. “Bring it.”


End file.
